To the universe*,
Sometimes it seems like this strain of reality was created specifically to keep us down**.
There’s the world. There’s no ethical consumption under capitalism and the 40 million people in the modern slavery industry and the planet’s destruction in almost every action we take.
There’s how terrible people can be. There’s the people who yell at workers making minimum wage and the people who don’t smile back on the street and the people who refuse to wear masks in Walmart.
There’s the day-to-day annoyances. There’s the stress of finding an internship or the stress of ethical existence or, worst of all, the stress of moving an image in a Word document. There’s the Zoom calls no one wants to attend but everyone does anyway. There’s the sunlight that stings too brightly in your eyes and the waiting line outside of grocery stores and the feeling of greasy hair and the way pollen unfailingly makes you sneeze.
At any given point, there are a hundred, a thousand, a million pressure points pushing down on us, curving shoulders inward and carving frown lines by our lips.
But there’s also. The fact that we’re here at all.
There’s the world. There’s the stars studding the night sky that glitter from lightyears away and the waves that crash on open-armed beaches (the best sound in the world) and the chittering of crickets as they gather after dark. There’s the sunrise and sunset that cradle every day in their gentle hands, and the ability to see in color, and the mere existence of the smiley face, invented because people thought happiness was so important it was worth animating.
There’s how wonderful people can be. There’s the stranger who helps you grab top shelf snacks in Trader Joe’s and the free meal fundraisers for kids who relied on school lunches and the waves of people sewing masks for healthcare workers. There’s the vigor with which a violinist sweeps their bow across the strings and the softness with which a hand strokes a nudging dog's head and the sheer empathy in the Humans of New York page.
There’s every day. There’s the feeling of your muscles reaching as you stretch, the taste of a blueberry bursting between your teeth, the twist of the comforter as you cinnamon-roll into your bed. There’s the winking wave of a leaf fluttering hello on your walk, the !!! of Avatar the Last Airbender on Netflix and a Percy Jackson series announced for Disney+, the sound bread dough makes when you plop it down. There’s the little owl on Duolingo that congratulates you for getting five questions right, and the joy of learning, of scribbling furious notes to a Khan Academy video. There’s hearing the smile in someone’s voice over a phone call. There’s the raw tenderness of a short story painting a masterpiece with words***. There’s the text from the group chat announcing that the moon is beautiful tonight. There’s the FaceTime until the sunlight peeks through your curtains and the birds start to chirp.
Sometimes, it does seem as though this world was built for spite and frustration and sadness. But sometimes, I feel so lucky to be alive.
It is not despite the world and despite others and despite ourselves but because of them all that life is worth living.
*or what we know of it
**a statistically**** unlikely, but possible version of the simulation
****if statistics existed